In this chair, this streamside vantage
the steady migration arrives in increments
to tease almost daily. You look to me
well read, as if while you studied
page after page pairs of eyes studied you
like I do. I'd fancy a chance with
that hand, but darlin', I'm as broke as you are
beautiful. What's the point in trying
then? ha, maybe you could love me
for my money, the adventure we could steal
while thermometers peak, or some trivia
I've had stored away for the occasion;
a squirrel for a useless fact, but a tough
nut to, oh you've lost patience already.
This spell is broken with unclenched
jaw so you'll never know how much
the practice is lacking. Stowed away up here.
(updated 8/25/08)
3 comments:
the fragment you tacked onto the last line is very unnatural and forced; the poem is smooth until that last bit, and then the reader gets tripped up on this clumsy phrase, diminishing the overall effectiveness of the piece.
hmm, weird. that part wasn't tacked on, it was there in the original version.
shows how much i know.
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