Hematophagist Phalanx

It's Tuesday morning and it's just about 12:30am. On a normal night around this time I'd still be reading a book or wasting time on the internet. I'd probably be up for another hour at least. But man, tonight I'm actually exhausted. Tonight I just need rest for this summertime head-cold I picked up. My throat's a bit sore despite the constant flow of water I've been providing, still, I shouldn't have any problem getting to sleep. It's so hot and sticky, though. No need for even this sheet. Just keep the fan on me and I'll be fine. Lights out. Click.

Ladies! Listen up! We've been practicing tactical maneuvers for some time in preparation for such a situation as tonight presents us. Our scouts have located a prone, weary male body with little in the way of armor. Given the temperature and humidity, we can be fairly sure that skin is going to be left exposed to the air.
Now, let's not fool ourselves into thinking there will be no casualties tonight. We face perpetual danger from our "hosts", but our numbers should guarantee the drawing of blood and the infliction of torturous itchiness. A dazed and sleepy human will find it difficult to track you down and smite you, so keep that in mind at all times.
Okay, get in position for take-off...

Something's not right here. The dread of punctuated sleep hangs on a night when insomnia had, for my benefit, casually sauntered off elsewhere. I don't mind that sort of adultery. In fact, I'll take it whenever i can get it, and that isn't often. On the verge of comfortably dozing, my foot began to itch.

Remember, teams of two! While one of you makes the diversion run, the other swoops in for the bite. He's groggy enough already that he won't realize there are two of you. Wait until the lights go out and then I'll be sending the signals for the first team to go.

Mosquitoes, hovering as drones above the Afghan mountains that I comprised in my bed, buzzed faintly. Ugh, where are they coming from? I have a screen in my window. There weren't any around before I turned my light out. Are these from some new genus of brilliant culicidaeans that entomologists haven't recognized yet?

Alright Unit4, you float down toward the wrists while I hover near the desk, you copy?
Copy that, Unit3. Heading in.

You can't be serious. I really need to sleep. If I have to turn this light on I'm going to be so mad...

Danger Unit4! His arm is reaching for the lamp! Prepare evasion maneuvers.
Copy, Unit3, heading towards legs...

Click. Ah, I'm never gonna find them if my eyes don't adjust. Just stay focused and watch out the corners of your eyes for any movement. Ooh, there you are. Get away from my feet! I've gotta walk on those, I can't have some bite on them. Do you even understand how annoying that will be?!

I think I'm too quick for him, Unit3. I bet he still can't see anything. Unit3? Unit3, you copy?

This light, this light is strangely attractive...

CLAP! Nice, I got you good, you fucker. Ah, now I'll be able to sleep. Any more around? Nope. Good. Click

UnitCommander, We've lost Unit3. She was distracted by that lamp. I'm returning to base, copy?
Unit4, remain in position as tactical lookout, I'm sending Unit5 your way.
Copy that, commander.

If this keeps up I'm never gonna get to sleep. Should I pull my sheet up? Nah, it's too sticky in here.

Unit5, make your way towards his head this time, he'll find it more difficult to track you.
roger that.

Bzzzzzz. What the? More? I just killed you! Click

Retreat, retreat!
I'm heading towards the window

Oh, you're dead. Smack! Bah, how'd I miss?

I just got out, heading back!
You can't leave me out here naked, Unit5!

Smack! Alright, that should be...what, more? Where the hell do you keep coming from? This is absurd now. That's, like, 5 already!

Need reinforcements, Unit5 is down!
They're on their way, Unit3, hold tight...

That better be the end of it, I can't take any more of this. It's already 1:30. I should have been asleep a long time ago. Click

Unit6, Unit7, listen close, I'm going to remain in hover position near the desk and warn again if his hand moves to the light. One of you should be able to get in close enough to bite this time.
But Unit3, don't forget to avoid the light if it goes on, we don't need more casualties.
I'll be wary, 6, just focus on what you need to do.
Hey 6, I'll assault the feet while you go for the upper extremities.
Copy that, 7.

Fine, just take my blood, I'll try to ignore you. Just take it and leave me alone. Ah, shit, she got my foot. That's really gonna itch for a while.

Got his foot, here. Didn't get a large payload, however.

How'd you? Huh? No. No, there can't be two in here again. Please, please mosquitoes don't make me turn that light back on, I just need to sleep. It's almost 2am for Pete's sake.

No movements towards the lamp yet, keep on target, Units.

That's it, you both have got to die now. I gave you your chance to suck and run but you got greedy. Click

Whoa! Where was the warning?!
He was too quick that time, just get out!
Help, I'm trapped here...

Slap! Yes, one more down. That's the one that got me. No blood for your eggs tonight, ma.

I'm heading for the window, I can make it. Unit3 are you alright? Unit3? 3? Hey!

Clap! Sweet, got another one. No more, right? there can't be anymore, I've already gotten six. That's unprecedented. Nobody's gonna believe I had that many mosquitoes in here. Shit, I can't let anybody know, no girl will ever want to come over here, ever. Well, at least it's not as bad as that old apartment with bedbugs, that was terri...Hey! Another one, motherfucker!

Somebody set up a diversion! I'm alone out here and I'm in his sights! We're all done for if he gets me. SOS, anyone, Commander?!

There you are, thought I'd lost ya. Okay, sit still, she'll land and then...nope, shit. Where'd you....Thud! Yes! Ow, punching the wall isn't the best method. Ow, that hurt. Fuck me. Well, I got you. Are there any more of you? What am I doing, I've lost it, mosquitoes can't hear me. I'm gonna be delirious at work tomorrow. Hey, if there are any more of you in here, this is your chance: I've killed seven (7) of your sisters, or cousins, or whatever. Bite me now while I sleep. I'm too tired to deal with this anymore. I'm going to sleep now. Hear me? I'm sleeping. Goodnight.